Big Woman

Aesthetics are learned. This might seem obvious when discussing art, but it’s less apparent when we think about our own bodies.

“Your biceps scared me.”

Growing up in China, where slimness—often bordering on frailty—is considered the pinnacle of beauty for women, I was often labeled “boyish” or “壮.” In Chinese, “壮” means strong but in an unflattering way—chubby, muscular, and unrefined for a girl. While these remarks from friends and family were meant as harmless jokes, I internalized them and spent years wanting to change how my body looked.

Fortunately, I never succeeded.

Over time, I came to appreciate my body for what it could do, not just how it looked. I learned that starting around age 30, women lose 3-5% of muscle mass per decade. This muscle loss contributes to the challenges many women face as they age—weakness, joint pain, and the inability to perform everyday tasks. My slim, delicate mother often suffers from such issues, and I realized the root cause wasn’t weight but a lack of strength.

During my gap year, I began subtly introducing strength training to her life. Together, we discovered the freedom and confidence that comes with building strength.

Today, I embrace my body.

• I appreciate my biceps for helping me rain shots on the court.
• I appreciate my lats for powering me through the butterfly stroke in the pool.
• I appreciate my quads for propelling me across trails and finish lines.
• I appreciate my core for grounding me in everything I do, both physically and mentally.

To me, strength is beauty, and I want to redefine femininity for myself and others. Strong women are capable, resilient, and free. I aspire to be one and to inspire others to experience the joy of strength.

I’m now diving deeper into anatomy and kinesiology to support a long, healthy, and athletic life. If this resonates with you, I’ll be sharing my learnings and notes here. Let’s celebrate the power of strength together.